He Makes All Things New

Monday, August 4, 2014


Even when my heart hurts, this baby doll puts the biggest smile on my face. Every inch of his little body radiates love and light!

I'm not sure how else to share this other than just to say it...  Last Sunday, I miscarried our second baby.
We didn't find out for sure until Tuesday evening when I went in for a follow-up blood test, hoping and hoping that our little one made it through all the heartbreaking signs my body was showing. After hours of pacing the hospital waiting room, the doctor sat me down and said I had definitely lost the baby. She cried with me. I'm crying again right now writing this out, but I feel like it's good to share great times, as well as the bad. Everyone walks through hard things at some point or another, and I keep thinking about friends and sisters and all the parents out there that have experienced this or worse.  There are a few dear women, strangers included, who shared with me that they too have gone through miscarriage and went on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. The ER doctor and nurse I was with Tuesday both did, and it was so encouraging that they opened up. It made me feel not alone. I'm so thankful too for my Cam, and being home with him while my body does what it needs to.

All kinds of bad things happen in this world. But I have been clearly reminded this past week that the very best thing to do is to cling to Jesus. All spring & summer, I'd been reading over and over again that the Lord wants us to take refuge in Him. I must have underlined atleast twenty different verses in my Bible, and last week I went back and clung to all of them. In my weakness, He is my strength.

It's heartbreaking, for us, but when we think about our sweet baby now at home in paradise with our Savior... we feel so much joy for their precious little soul. We are so thankful for that amazing truth. It has totally been my comfort this week. Jesus Christ makes all things new.

87 comments:

  1. Oh, I am so sorry to read this. How heartbreaking!
    Hugs to you!

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God will grant you strength and keep surrounding you with love!

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  3. As someone who has experienced three miscarriages before carrying my beautiful baby girl, I can imagine your heartbreak. Those little ones will forever be part of your heart and life. Rest up and take care of your body and your heart during this difficult time.

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    1. Oh, Natalie, I am so so sorry. It has been amazing to watch little Ellie grow up and to see her walking now!! What a beautiful little girl she is and precious gift. I suppose the good that comes out of miscarriage is appreciating the preciousness of children even more. So much love to you my friend! You are such a strong woman. And thank you so much.

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  4. Very sorry for your loss. May you feel love, support, and hope amidst the ache.

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    1. Thank you, Katie. I really appreciate it.

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  5. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how this feels and I've read so many stories of women who have miscarried and it is heartbreaking. Know that so many people are thinking about you and praying for you and your family. xoxo

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  6. Oh, Amanda that plain sucks. I'm so sorry. I've been there and it's rough. It made me question everything and then go on to realize it's out of my control. Stay strong, mama! XO

    http://www.floatonblog.com/

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    1. Thanks, Jess!! You're absolutely right. THANK GOD too that I'm not in control.

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear this Amanda and am sending thoughts your way.

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  8. You are not alone! :) My first ended in a miscarriage and I am now 17 weeks pregnant. The worrying never really stops, but I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy this time around!

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    1. Oh I am so sorry to hear that... but thrilled for you that you're pregnant again! I hope you do get to enjoy it and stay worry-free.. your baby is in the very best hands possible :) Much love.

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  9. I'm so sorry! Hugs to you and your family.

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  10. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

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  11. Praying for you sister. <3

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  12. So sorry Amanda. Thanks for sharing this. I've been there myself and I know I was immensely comforted by those who said, "I feel ya, sister. I know the hurt you're feeling.'

    Praying for your comfort.

    Love and light.

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    1. Thank you, Carmen. I feel your prayers!

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  13. So sorry for your loss and you and your family are definitely in my prayers!

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  14. You are not alone. I lost my first at 10 weeks and a few months later, was blessed with a healthy and happy pregnancy. It was hard, especially those first few weeks after, to believe in God's plan - and not to panic when I was pregnant again, thinking every minute that I would lose it - but knowing I was not alone was so important to me. Whether they share it or not, so many have walked in your shoes. I'll remember you and your little one in my prayers today.

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    1. Thank you so much, Holly!!!

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  15. I am so so sorry Amanda. sending you lots of love and prayers. <3

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  16. Friend, I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts my heart. I love your constant focus on Jesus, you are beautiful:) And HE is good!

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  17. I have tears in my eyes as I read this. So sorry for your loss. We lost our first little one just shy of 11 weeks...right before Mother's day. To this day I still feel the loss of that child, but it does get easier. God blessed us by giving us a healthy pregnancy just a couple months after.
    "He gives and takes away...blessed be His name". Praying for you!

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    1. Oh thank you so so much, Nancy...
      Blessed be the name of the Lord!

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  18. Thank you for sharing...the good and the bad, the wonderful and the heart-breaking. Praying peace and comfort over you and your family.

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  19. so so sorry amanda. miscarriages are so difficult. soak up lots of love from your sweet little boy and cam.

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    1. I am, I am. So thankful for those two boys.

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  20. i am SO sorry for your loss, i am now tearing up in my cubicle at work (probably shouldn't be reading this at work but oh well). i cannot imagine what that must feel like, but just want you to know that my mom miscarried three children and still ended up with six healthy and happy children who love her dearly! as i have been told, there was one before me and one after me and that always made me feel extra special, like god knew the world needed me. so trust in him that this is right and keep your hopes up for many more children, i promise he will give them to you if that is best!

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    1. Wow - what an amazing story of restoration. Thank you for sharing that, MK! Your mom sounds like an amazing lady. And I think you are extra special :)

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  21. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing this pain. It is a very tough path to walk but you have the right perspective. Thank you for being honest and open about your struggle. I have just recovered from my second miscarriage and it is hard to get online and read about all the happy pregnant women. Please know that your post was the hope I needed today to stay positive.

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    1. I am so sorry... I will be praying for you.

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  22. Love, hugs, and prayers coming your way, sweet friend. I can't even imagine the heavy heart you have over losing such a special part of you. May the Lord comfort you and Cam during this time. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to message me!

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    1. Thanks Case. Love you and love that you and D are enjoying your new life in FL so much right now.

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  23. SO sorry my friend. There is no pain like that of losing a child. Sending you love and prayers. Jeremiah 29:11! xoxoxoxo

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  24. gracious, i am so sorry to hear this, sweet, beautiful lady! i am sending my prayers of comfort to you and your little family.

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  25. So sorry to hear this. Sending lots of prayers your way.

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  26. I'm so sorry Amanda. I know this pain too. It helps me to remember that this is incredibly common and that I did nothing to cause it to happen. Many of my friends and family have been through this as well and went on to have many healthy and happy babes. Sending lots of love and prayers to you and Cam. xx

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    1. Thank you, Lauren... I'm sorry too.

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  27. Amanda, you are so brave to share this. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you are still so blessed and loved. Always in my prayers, friend! <3 xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much sweet Mary Grace!

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  28. I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you Francine. I feel them.

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  29. Love you so much.

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  31. Hugs. Praying for you and your sweet family. I had a miscarriage but went on and had a healthy baby boy next. God's plan is perfect. Rest in Him and your family and close friends during this hard difficult time

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing that, Kate. I'm so sorry but also so happy for you and your beautiful little boy! You're right - His plan is perfect. Thank you again.

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  32. I am so sorry for your loss. I have had 3 miscarriages, one before each of my 3 healthy normal pregnancies....it plain sucks. Praying for your physical recovery and the healing of your heart...and Cam's too.

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    1. Ahhhh.... I am so sorry to read that. It does suck. That's just the perfect way to say it. Thank you for the prayers.

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  33. So sorry for your loss! I pray The Lord wraps His arms around you and lifts you up during this difficult time. Our first pregnancy we miscarried at 11 weeks- it was so devastating- since then we have had 3 beautiful boys- God is good! May The Lord bless you and give you peace!

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    1. Oh I'm so sorry, Elise! Especially to miscarry later on. But yes, God is so good!!! Thank you very much.

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  34. I'm so so sorry. Thinking about you and sending positive healing thoughts.

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    1. Thank you so much, Natalia.

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  35. Miscarriages are such heartbreaking things. God has you in his hands, your whole family. There is a right time for everything and there will be a right time for you all in the future. Its not always easy but we trust his plan for us because our God is good. Prayers and thoughts with the three of you x

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    1. Yes, you are so right. He is so good!! Thank you, Rachael.

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  36. Love you Amanda, heartbroken for you and Cam....xxx

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    1. Thank you so much sweet Lorraine. I'm sorry I haven't written back yet - you have an email coming your way soon. Love you too, friend!

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  37. Crying for you friend. I can't imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling. I'll be praying for y'all! So glad you have Him to lean on!

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    1. Oh thank you sooo much, Sarah. Me too. Love you!

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  38. I am so sorry for your loss Amanda – I have watched too many friends grieve the loss of their children! Your honesty and authenticity are so refreshing in a world that only likes to share the joyful times in life on social media … this is real life and is such a great reminder of our daily need for our Savior! We have struggled with infertility for over 2 1/2 years now and are constantly reminding ourselves that in spite of how we view our circumstances our God is a good God, it’s part of His character!

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    1. Gosh I am so sorry, Lindsay. You are right. He is so, so good and no one loves you more than He does. My heart hurts for you and your husband. I'll be praying that you're blessed with a beautiful little baby!

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    2. And I'll be praying that your body recovers and you have a healthy pregnancy soon!

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  39. Sending lots of love and prayers for you and your family.

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  40. Amanda, I am so sorry to hear about your devastating loss. It sounds like you are finding enormous strength thru your faith and your family and I think it was so brave to post about it here. Sending you warm and healing thoughts, Anne

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    1. Thank you very much, Anne.

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    2. I am so sorry to hear this! I prayed for you and Cam and will continue to do so! I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and it's such an inspiration to me - in faith and in the kitchen :-). It is so big of you to share the bad news in addition to the good and I'm sure it's helping others out there. Lots of love.

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    3. Oh, Lauren thank you so much for your sweet note. It really means a lot to me!! Lots of love to you, too.

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  41. Jeremiah 31:25 - "For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish."

    Praying for you all! x

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  42. Amanda, I miscarried our second baby on Father's Day. I understand and I'm so sorry.
    Dana Boyer

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  43. I'm late to read this and so, so sorry to hear it. Such sad news. Thinking of you and your family in this time of heartache.

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  44. I'm praying for you sweetie. I lost a baby and the scripture that The Lord gave my husband and I was Jeremiah 29:11-13. The Lord is with you! XOXO

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  45. Thanks for sharing.....I just went through the same thing and it is so encouraging to know I'm not alone, and that God is gracious and that joy comes in the morning.... Xoxo

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